I haven't danced since November. So tormented about it.
Every week that goes by, it gets harder to get back to a class. I'm scared of silly things, like being out of shape and feeling pain in my body. Secondly, I've been in a state of rest for months, and objects in rest want to stay in rest.
The persistent false story I keep telling myself: The more time that goes by, the harder it's going to be to dance. This is false.
Going to dance and dancing is essentially pushing an object in rest (me) into motion (currently not me). It's a short, concentrated burst of energy and therefore only as difficult as putting clothes on and getting myself to a class. Granted, it takes more steps than staying in bed or sitting on the couch.
Each time I choose to work against my interests than for them, I feel worse. This is a long, pervasive difficulty that persists as long as I choose to do the "easier" thing.
It's not easier though. It's infinitely harder to feel bad and guilty about NOT doing something than to do it.