Compassion is an investment

When you're in flow

You don't need a ton of self-compassion. A flow state is kind of magical: you find yourself in a timeless space, empty of your ego and fear.

When you're not in flow

Self-compassion is your life raft. Your fear, anxiety, and self doubt can feel like a small trickle of water in one moment and swell to an ocean in the next.

Each flow state you enjoy is the culmination of choosing your life raft instead of swallowing a lot of negative self talk and sputtering to keep your head above water.

Every time you choose self-compassion, you put money in the bank for flow.

Everyone has one cup

My mother told me that cryptically one day; I'd just turned 19 and was railing bitterly against the latest perceived injustice. "This doesn't happen to other people, only me!" I cried.

"You may think others have so much more, but everyone has one cup of blessings."

"Wealthy people? They might lack true love or health.

Beautiful people? They might not have a lot of deep friendships or grit.

Stable people? They might lead less textured, rich lives, as a result of avoiding risks.

Wise people? They don't have their youth or innocence anymore.

Young people like you? They lack perspective," she explained, smiling.

Your cup is just as full as anyone else's. I want to layer onto my mother's wisdom, years later, with this added nuance:

Everyone has one cup. With gratitude, a growth mindset, and consistent showing up for yourself and your craft, the capacity of that cup grows without limit.

I work for texts like this

Woke up this morning to two texts from clients:

[I'm finished with it!] Now I don't know what to do with myself... regardless of what happens this year, thank you SO MUCH for all of your support, encouragement and help. I couldn't have done this without you, and I am incredibly grateful to have had you by my side as I made this big decision and went through with it 💛💛💛 Much love!  

Good morning. Very happy to let you know today I wrote my 100th morning page entry. Wow! Bowing to you with gratitude.

Feeling especially grateful today to my kickass clients, the giants whose shoulders we stand on, and those who fought and died so we can pursue fulfilling lives.

How to stay the course

I say this to myself every morning, before even a glass of water:

I am a ghost
Driving a meat-coated skeleton made of stardust
Riding a rock
Hurtling through space

It’s my day’s compass. It reminds me I’m doing the best with what I’ve got: a body and a brain that have immense potential but also very real limitations. 

My grapefruit-sized grey brain made of stardust, with all its best intentions, causes me to forget this, countless times per day. If I’m lucky, I remember to say it again. 

It’s a compass that keeps me going in the right direction — not a map. There is no go-to map to your success, you guys. Run away from anyone who tries to convince you there’s a plug-and-play formula or foolproof system to living the life you want. 

Find yourself a day’s compass; I love mine, you’re welcome to use it. Pro tip: A good day’s compass is usually a good life compass.